Forgotten
by Light1
Summary: To many sad memories can lead to despair Alucard must learn to let them go. But can he learn to forget?


**The Forgotten**

Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to people who are not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine, wouldn't mind a Walter as well.

Rating: PG-13

Authoress note: Memories are sometimes best forgotten. 

Alucard perched delicately on the railing that ran along the roof of the manor. His booted feet found purchase on the thin railing easily. His coat hung down behind him occasionally flaring up in the wind. Amber glasses covered eyes that could easily be compared to hot coal. The wind had removed his hat a while ago and now lifted his hair causing it to twist about him. He was for the entire world a great red gargoyle. In his gloved hands rested an old dog-eared paper back. He had forgotten the title years ago when the front cover fell off but it never mattered to him. He had read this particular paperback fifty three times now, and had no doubt that he could probably recite it. It wasn't that the tale itself was particularly compelling or that he wished to escape his life through the telling of another or some other shallow reason. He just seemed to be constantly picking it up. He perched now holding the book open at the last page refusing the read the last line. He always hated endings, to see something end. To watch as something grew and developed and became something larger and better only to see it vanish like it had never existed.

Finally he relents and reads the last line, but he does not close the book, he sits quietly in the shadows of one of the larger chimneys cradling the paperback marveling at the world held in his hands and how with a simple match it would all disappear. In a book no one would leave, no one had to disappear. You simply had to reopen the book and there they were again. He shook himself suddenly wondering what had come over him, sighing he slipped the old paperback into his inside pocket and stood upright still balancing on the railing with ease. Leaning forward slightly he allowed him to drop, twisting delicately in the air as he fell. He wasn't worried. He always landed on his feet. He felt the ground beneath him for a second and made the conscious decision to just keep falling. He heard gasped breaths as he slid cleanly into the earth and disappeared. He allowed a smile to curl on his mouth at the human's reaction. He reappeared next to his master. She was standing on a roof top somewhere down town, he didn't really care where. She was watching her men attack.

"I did not call you Alucard," she snapped harshly, Alucard just shrugged "the men can take care of this," again the vampire shrugged. He moved away, taking the few steps needed to be on the buildings ledge, he sat down and watched. Anything to take his mind away from where it had been before. That simple thought was enough to send it hurtling back, he sighed loudly. He'd hated nights like this, he knew humans had them constantly but he was supposed to be something more than human. He snorted suddenly, there was no 'supposed' about it he was a greater creature than that of a human. Then why was he still tormented?

"Feeling sorry for yourself again," Integra had stepped up, and was standing next to him on his side and he hadn't noticed, he silently cursed himself but said nothing. Images of snow covered mountains filled his vision for a second before he squashed them down, turning snow covered mountains into dirty grey buildings. He heard his master sigh in defeat and he smirked. He knew his master got annoyed when he deliberately made a nuisance of himself, spouting endless words strung together in the vague disguise of sense. But he also knew that it down right frightened her when he was quiet. "You may aid them if you wish it vampire," Integra sighed

"And if I do not wish it," Alucard mumbled.

"Than go home, go out wander the streets for all I care," Integra snapped harshly. Alucard winced a little before leaning over leaning his head against her waist for a moment, her gloved hand skimmer over his hair briefly before he allowed himself to sink into the building. Integra sighed and turned, walking back to the center of the roof where her captain was standing

"What was that mam?" Ferguson frowned, Integra rubbed her temples briefly

"He's feeling sorry for himself," she muttered quietly "bastard frightens me when he does that."

Alucard allowed himself to slip out of the ceiling in the run down house that this creature was using as a den. He rolled his shoulders listening to them crack, a little search and destroy was probably all he needed. He'd been idle for far to long, no wonder his mind was beginning to wonder. There were screams carved deep into the air of this place, he took a deep breath through his nose hoping to savor the flavor of the air and finding it stagnant. He looked around, the room was a bed room of some sort, he smirked well it had a mattress at least. Taking a step closer he sniffed the air again, scenting the vital fluids that filled the mattress. Shuddering he drew back, it was like whole lives had been woven into the mattress. Half disgusted and half tempted to collapse onto the bedding he turned away making his way out of the room. He stopped suddenly spotting a table, on the table rested a small electric drill, a saw, roll of paper towels and a syringe filled with fluid, probably chemical. He growled low in his throat trying in vain to stop memories surfacing.

Needles biting into flesh, chemicals being pumped inside him making him ill, radiation twisting him until he felt like a stagnant soul trapped inside a moldering corpse that was not his own and finally human laughter. A hand closed on his shoulder and without thought acting on instinct and still shaking from the assault of memory he twisted, sending a gloved hand directly through the person's torso. He blinked confused as the freak turned to dust, and then he remembered where he was. He shuddered as the memories faded back thankfully and made his way out of the room. Hellsing Soldiers watched on, stunned.

**End**


End file.
